Yes, my last name is “Velker”. No, that doesn’t make me Volker.
Scientists have studied this phenomenon for years. It’s called Name Association Syndrome (NAS).
Peer-reviewed (by zero peers).
Pc = (Dv * Sl * Pa) / AS + AC
with:
Pc = Probability of Confusion
Dv = Dominance of vowel in first name
Sl = Lastname similarity
Pa = Popularity of both names in my age group
AS = Attention Span of listener
AC = Ambient Chaos
A respectable name. Also, not mine.
Volker is a Germanic name built from folc (people) + heri (army). Think “people’s warrior” or “of the folk’s army.” Strong! Noble! Still not Torsten.
The original, the canonical, the one you’re looking for.
Torsten comes from Old Norse Þórsteinn — literally “Thor’s Stone” or “The Hammer of Thor.” A sturdy name with mythic roots. ⚡🪨
A lightning-fast certification in Name Recognition 101. Choose wisely:
"Getting a name right is like typing the correct Wi-Fi password. You can’t connect otherwise."
- Sokrates (Greek philosopher)
Really, names do matter! Ask any Starbucks barista.
Know someone who called me Volker once (or thrice)? Send them this gentle, lovingly handcrafted reminder.